Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in
a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club
and has been known to start fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock
in the morning.
------------------------------
Donegal man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
------------------------------
Grossly overweight Louth turf-cutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks
nimble sex-pot, preferably South American, for tango sessions,
candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own
car and be willing to travel.
------------------------------
Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for
the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
--------------------------
Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,
poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks
mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce
along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.
Strong stomach essential.
--------------------------
Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shítty
after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes,
maybe more.
--------------------------
Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in
the arsé end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady
with a lovely chest.
------------------------
Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed
super model, who owns her own brewery and has an open-minded twin
sister.
--------------------------
Following a sad recent loss, teetotal Tipperary man, 53, seeks
replacement Mammy. Must like biscuits and answer to the name Minnie.
Thurles area.
--------------------------
Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long-time fiancée,
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in
this cruel world of hatchet-faced bítches
For those who think this is improbable then you have probably never been at the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival. Lisdoonvarna in Co Clare is a "Spa" Town noted for the undrinkable quality of its sulphurous water which tastes like rotten eggs. Traditionally the farming community in the West of Ireland gathered there after the harvest in September and the Matchmaking became a serious matter with the number of acres and store bullocks on the table in the "Match" playing as much a role as the attributes or otherwise of the two parties to the Match.
This is the official blurb for what is now a six week festival and for the last matchmaker, Willie Daly who runs a riding school (sic) near Ennistymon.
150 years of Matchmaking in Lisdoonvarna
"Matchmaking is one of Ireland's oldest traditions and, for the last couple of hundred years, a good deal of it has taken place in Lisdoonvarna during September and early October.
The name Lisdoonvarna comes from 'Lios Duin Bhearna', which means the lios or enclosure of the fort in the gap. The town developed into a tourist centre as early as the middle of the 18th-century when a top Limerick surgeon discovered the beneficial effects of its mineral waters. People travelled from near and far to bathe in, and drink, the mineral waters. Rich in iron, sulphur and magnesium, the waters gave relief from the symptoms of certain diseases including rheumatism and glandular fever. The Spa Hotel was the centre around which the village developed. The opening of the West Clare Railway contributed towards that development, although the nearest railway station was seven miles away at Ennistymon. This station opened in l887 and from that time onwards, until the advent of the motorcar, tourists travelled from the train in pony and trap to ''The Spa''. It was due to the popularity of these mineral springs and the huge amount of people going there that led to the Lisdoonvarna “matchmaking tradition". September became the peak month of the holiday season and with the harvest safely in, bachelor farmers flocked to Lisdoonvarna in search of a wife. By the 1920s, matchmaking was still in vogue and people continued to come and "take the waters", including many of Ireland's clergy. It was around this time that one of Lisdoonvarna's most famous sayings was coined, describing the town as a place "where parish priests pretend to be sober and bank clerks pretend to be drunk" .
Today, there is just one official Matchmaker left in Co. Clare: Mr. Willie Daly who runs the riding centre outside Ennistymon and practices match making part time. With the exception of the pairings he plans and negotiates, very little genuine matchmaking takes place nowadays. However, Lisdoonvarna’s annual festival has evolved into Europe's largest single's event. People don’t necessarily come to look for a spouse - they come by the thousands in search of a good time. For the month of September, dances run from 12.00 noon each day and carry on into the small hours of the next morning. Set dancing exhibitions are also a feature of the event and there’s live Irish music in most pubs, although getting to the bar can be quite a task, but don't worry or hurry, because the music carries on until the early hours.
If you can afford the time and the money, and you're single, head for Lisdoonvarna this September and early October. You never know - as well as enjoying all of the good-natured fun and grand "craic", you might also find the perfect mate!"
http://www.matchmakerireland.com/
This is so ingrained in Ireland's National Physic it has been immortalised in song by the great Irish singer Christy Moore - Here are some of the words and the Video - If you have left it too late for this year start making your plans for 2009!
Lisdoonvarna
Christy Moore
How's it goin' there everybody,
From Cork, New York, Dundalk, Gortahork and Glenamaddy.
Here we are in the County Clare
It's a long, long way from here to there.
There's the Burren and the Cliffs of Moher,
the Tulla and the Kilfenora,
Miko Russell, Doctor Bill,
Willy Clancy, Noel Hill.
Flutes and fiddles everywhere.
If it's music you want,
You should go to Clare.
CHORUS
G C
Oh, Lisdoonvarna
G C
Lisdoon, Lisdoon, Lisdoon, Lisdoonvarna!
Everybody needs a break,
Climb a mountain or jump in a lake.
Some head off to exotic places,
Others go to the Galway Races.
Mattie goes to the South of France,
Jim to the dogs, Peter to the dance.
A cousin of mine goes potholing,
A cousin of hers loves Joe Dolan.
Summer comes around each year,
We go there and they come here.
Some jet off to ... Frijiliana,
But I always go to Lisdoonvarna.
CHORUS
I always leave on a Thursday night,
With me tent and me groundsheet rolled up tight.
I like to hit Lisdoon,
In around Friday afternoon.
This gives me time to get me tent up and my gear together,
I don't need to worry about the weather.
Ramble in for a pint of stout,
you'd never know who'd be hangin' about!
There's a Dutchman playing a mandolin,
And a German looking for Liam Óg O'Floinn.
And there's Adam, Bono and Garrett Fitzgerald,
Gettin' their photos taken for the Sunday World.
Finbarr, Charlie and Jim Hand,
And they drinkin' pints to bate the band.
( why would'nt they for Jasus sake are'nt they getting it for nothing)
CHORUS
The multitudes, they flocked in throngs
To hear the music and the songs.
Motorbikes and Hi-ace vans,
With bottles - barrels - flagons - cans.
Mighty craic. Loads of frolics,
Pioneers and alcoholics,
PLAC, SPUC and the FCA,
Free Nicky Kelly and the IRA.
Hairy chests and milk-white thighs,
mickey dodgers in disguise.
Mc Graths, O'Briens, Pippins, Coxs,
Massage parlours in horse boxes.
There's amhráns, bodhráns, amadáns,
Arab sheiks, Hindu Sikhs, Jesus freaks,
RTE are makin' tapes, takin' breaks and throwin' shapes.
This is heaven, this is hell.
Who cares? Who can tell?
(Anyone for the last few Choc Ices, now?)
No comments:
Post a Comment