GOD FLUSHES FACEBOOK!

"BUT I HAVE NO FRIENDS OUT THERE!!!!"

Facebook is shutting down?? Global panic! Slit your wrists! Murder your enemies and drink their blood! Rape, pillage and plunder like a Washington politician! All laws are dead! GOD HAS PUSHED THE BUTTON!!!

It was funny to read the story about Facebook shutting down on one of those alien-baby-with-three-heads Websites. Caught it while browsing for stories to drop my blog links on. It was quite well written, but patently bogus. Still, it did amuse me to think of millions of FB junkies ritualistically drowning themselves because life had lost all cyber meaning.

Makes old Nietzsche look a tad naive when he said "God is dead" -- he never envisioned the Internet. It's one thing to kill God, but bringing down the pillars of "social networking" is quite another. Poor brilliant bastard had no idea.

I've written about FB before. I don't hate the thing. I just think it's so chronically overused by so many people -- and has become a vomit receptacle for every little public and private detail of their lives -- that it isn't a healthy pit stop for everybody.

I'm sure Mark Zuckerberg just chuckled as he danced on his pile of money, dreaming up the next near-useless application of his exceptional intelligence (I'm being serious; not sarcastic).

Here's a subsequent article I found that explained the whole thing.

Maybe there's a Facebook-movie sequel in this. I might even audition for the part of the villain. The saboteur or assassin or macho fatale who brings the whole Facebook monolith to the rim of the toilet before a team of cyber nitwits saves the day and sends me packing back to my humble little blog.

Hmmm, I'm likin' it, baby. Hello to Hollywood!

Take care,
Adrian

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Mark Zuckerberg: president of the billionaire boys club.  How about adding me, Richie Rich?

I saw the movie "The Social Network" today.

I've been wanting to blog about Facebook for a while so now seems like the time. But it'll probably have to be in two parts.

Today I want to talk about the film and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg; next time I want to talk about the social and personal psychology that social networking dredges up.

Okay, the movie. I joked to my friends (the real ones, not the anonymous cyber ones), that now that the Facebook founder was a public figure, I knew who to kill. Alright, I admit that's black humor. But after seeing the film -- if it's even 50 percent accurate -- I'm just not feeling any love for this kid.

He halfway swiped the idea -- which is the American way, I guess -- and it seems he chatters incessantly like he swallowed a jarful of crickets. Lot's of Harvard-grade sarcastic stuff that you hope one of his close relatives will slap him for.

Then, when the movie was ending, it gave a little update on each of the lead characters. Zuckerberg's said something like: "Mark Zuckerberg is the world's youngest billionaire."

This annoys me on so many levels I'd need an elevator to get to them all -- not the least of which being I don't like to hear of anyone sitting on that much money when there are people starving in the world.

I know he's done some fairly significant philanthropy, but, y'know, he could part with 95% of his wealth and still live like a sultan. I'll never be comfortable with anyone being so filthy rich. (He apparently has always claimed Facebook isn't about the money. As the late author William S. Burroughs once said: "By their fruits shall ye know them, not their disclaimers.")

But the other thing that steamed my onions was this: This kid came up with (well, half stole the idea) something that is pretty cool. It's "fun." Okay. Nice one. He didn't come up with the sure-bet cure for cancer or a dead-certain way to get America acting like a civilized member of the United Nations.

He realized that people want to be popular, gossip, look at photos, waste time at work, hook up, gloss over their insecurities... that kind of stuff. I've been howling at the moon about that nonsense for years and nobody tossed me a dime! Oh well, so it goes. (Before you write your impassioned comment pointing out that I didn't invent Facebook, please note that I'm being facetious.)

But seriously: Is it any wonder our economy doesn't work? I don't think you have to have a PhD in economics to know it doesn't work because it isn't based on any sort of fairness or sanity. It rewards nutty stuff, pays banks to fail, gives massive welfare to corporations, and makes an intelligent kid into a billionaire superstar.

We lack an economy with good priorities. If it was a human being, you'd have it locked up... without its laptop!

I'd better stop. The vein on my neck is ready to pop.

Take care and keep smiling,
Adrian Zupp

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