A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE FABULOUS BILL HICKS!

I do not see myself as a doom-and-gloom merchant.

I consider myself to be a realist who cares.

And I'm not a pessimist. If I were, I would be telling you that there is no hope and we should all just give up. I am actually an optimist who recognizes that we live in dangerous times. And nothing is more dangerous than self-deception about that fact.

But I do believe in the essential good in the majority of people. I believe that right will win out if we apply ourselves, and the world will one day be a much kinder place. To me, that's optimism.

That said, I occasionally want this blog to be a little bit fun without ever trivializing the profoundly serious matters it addresses. That's tough to do. It's the kind of thing that takes a master satirist.

Enter Bill Hicks.

Bill Hicks was one of America's greatest comedic minds and satirists. An absolutely fearless stand-up comic who would give the finger to presidents and corporate hogs, explain why, and make you laugh all at once. He was very political, and extremely hilarious.

Sadly, Bill died of cancer in 1994, but his popularity continues to grow. Russell Crowe is said to be considering playing Hicks in a bio pic.

Hicks, who was unflinchingly outrageous and profane, cut through the BS like a razor sharp machete. He called himself a "dark poet." And yet, anyone who heard his monologue about love, peace and eternity knows that, for all his brooding and pain, he was the quintessential optimist.

And he reminded us, time and again, that even though our troubles sometimes pile up, that we shouldn't take things too seriously. Life, he explained, is "just a ride."

Please enjoy these quotes from Bill's performances and have a very happy and safe long weekend.

FAMOUS BILL HICKS QUOTES (Warning: Not for sensitive types!)

“Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.”

“I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute. There's one guy holding out both puppets!'”

“I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.”

“I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say, 'Yeah? When?'”

“Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts. That's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm. . . Sounds like . . . every commercial on television, doesn't it?”

“You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too. You know during the Persian Gulf War those intelligence reports would come out: 'Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons.' 'How do you know that?' 'Uh, well...we looked at the receipts.'”

"Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas."

"People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself."

"You know all that money we spend on the military every year - trillions of dollars? Instead, if we use this money to feed and clothe the poor of this world, which it would do many times over, then we can explore space, inner and outer, together, as one race."

"Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Here, here's American Gladiators, watch this, shut up. Go back to bed America, here is American Gladiators, here is 56 channels of it, watch these pituitary retards bang their f***ing skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go America. You are free to do as we tell you! You are free to do as we tell you!"

"I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. Really. On my hands and knees, wishing it upon every one of you. That's how much I love TV. Think it's great. I watched The Love Connection. That's gotta be the most depressing show I've ever seen in my life. Adult human beings on national television, groveling for dates. Have some self-respect: stay home and j**k off, man. Guys, buy a Hustler, toss off a load, go about your f***ing day, all right? Have some dignity."

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a f***in' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."

"Think of me as Chomsky with dick jokes."

“It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.”

“I left in love, in laughter, and in truth. And wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.”


Take care,
Adrian Zupp

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